Chunk from The Goonies vs. Jack Bauer

I'm a huge fan of The Goonies and this YouTube clip made me laugh. First attempt at including a video piece on my blog. We'll see how it goes.

Click here to read the full post with comments.

Mama don't preach

One of the funnier things I've read lately. Madonna is unhappy that her daughter is wearing tight pants. “My daughter is going through a phase of wearing jeans so tight she can’t bend her knees in them,” she was quoted as saying. “I have a go at her and say, ‘Can’t you wear something else? You have a closet full of clothes and you wear the same pants every day. And please wear a belt because I don’t want to see your butt crack when you bend over.’”

Hee hee.

This from a woman who inspired a generation of girls to dress, well, un-like a virgin.

Who's that girl?

Click here to read the full post with comments.

Tip your blogger

For anyone looking to buy me that special something...

That Batmobile would look mighty fine cruising down 635...

I'm just saying.

http://www.metro.co.uk/fame/article.html?in_article_id=39065&in_page_id=7&in_a_source=

Edit: I apologize that the link I included above currently also features an image of Harry Potter's butt (Daniel Radcliffe's, actually). However, it's cool that he's in Equus, a great play that I was in myself, in college (though not in the same role). If you've gotten to this blog by searching the Internet for "Harry Potter's butt," well, you're likely to be disappointed on many levels. But click the Amazon link on the right and buy something before you leave. Thanks.

Click here to read the full post with comments.

He zigs, he zags...

I take it back. I was rooting for poor Wally, but am annoyed at the whole fake-out here. Because, you know, the whole idea that Wally is playing a video game with an avatar that looks so much like him as to be perfectly indistinguishable from the "real thing" is just annoying. Bleh. I liked the Comics Curmudgeon's take on this (third item). He's referring to other depressing developments in Funky Winkerbean, including a band leader losing his hearing and a character dealing with cancer.

Click here to read the full post with comments.

Funny. Those don't look like chihuahuas to me!

Possibly due in part to some basement construction, a New York City KFC/Taco Bell was swarmed by rats today. Maybe they should play up the incident with cute little rats who just love to eat gorditos. They could befriend the old "You quiero Taco Bell" dog and form a close little family. He could talk about his days of grandeur as a TV star and complain about the horrible, forgettable Taco Bell commercials that followed his departure, when Taco Bell foolishly got rid of the ad agency that had brought him to fame. Or maybe not.

You can read the story here. I'm reproducing it below for posterity since those Excite links don't seem to last too long.

Rats Run Wild in KFC-Taco Bell in N.Y.

By VERENA DOBNIK

NEW YORK (AP) - A dozen rats were caught on video scurrying around the floor of a New York City KFC/Taco Bell restaurant early Friday, running between counters and tables and climbing on children's high chairs.

News crews flocked to the windows of the Greenwich Village neighborhood restaurant, which hadn't opened for the day. By midmorning, the footage was all over the Internet and television news shows, with onlookers giving a play-by-play from the sidewalk as the rodents moved about.

"He's coming for his close-up," one bystander said as a rat came near the window.

Employees came to work, but no customers were allowed in as health inspectors arrived.

There was no answer at the phone number displayed in neon on the store window below the words "We Deliver."

"This is completely unacceptable and is an absolute violation of our high standards," KFC and Taco Bell said in a statement. "This restaurant has been closed and we are addressing the issue with the franchise owner. We will not allow this store to reopen until is it completely resanitized and given a clean bill of health."

The chains said construction in the basement on Thursday "temporarily escalated the situation."

The city Department of Health had inspectors at the site on Friday, said department spokeswoman Sara Markt. She said the restaurant had passed inspection in December, but a violation was issued to the restaurant owner about "evidence of rats" - which meant only droppings at the time.

Markt said the owner of the franchise is listed with the department as ADF Fifth Operating Corp.

Rats have long been a problem in New York City, with such a dense population and such a large and readily available food supply for the rodents. They are frequently scampering through subway tunnels, rooting through trash, dashing across parks and burrowing into the walls of apartment buildings.

But it is rare to see so many rats congregating in one place in such public view.

Yum Brands Inc., based in Louisville, Ky., owns the Taco Bell and KFC chains.

Last week, it was reported that Taco Bell sales had slumped after a widely publicized E. coli scare, but that international sales helped Yum Brands in the company's fourth quarter.

The E. coli outbreak late last year caused more than 70 Taco Bell customers to become ill. Federal officials said in December that the most likely source of the illnesses was lettuce. Taco Bell took precautions by changing its suppliers of lettuce and cheese in New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Delaware.

In this image made from video rats move around inside a KFC-Taco Bell restaurant in Greenwich Village in New York, Friday, Feb. 23, 2007. (AP Photo/Rafael Garcia Jr. via APTN)

Copyright 2007 Associated Press. All right reserved.

Click here to read the full post with comments.

And the laugh riot that is Funky Winkerbean continues

On the one hand, I salute Tom Batiuk's continued willingness to address real-life drama and pain head-on. On the other hand, I pretty much prefer to turn to the comics to escape depressing news. I've felt like poor Wally has had death's hand on his shoulder ever since he was called back into active duty, especially with the arrival of little Wally and all. When Tuesday's strip had him proposing that, instead of calling the baby "little Wally," they should call him "old, original Wally" and the baby "new, improved Wally," I had a feeling that they were leading up to a clearer distinction of "dead Wally" and "orphaned Wally" instead.

But I hope he pulls through.

And I'll be back to read the strip again tomorrow, which I guess is what Batiuk wants.

Click here to read the full post with comments.

Math T-shirt

I'm not sure what prompted it, but I came up with an idea for a T-shirt last night. One day, I might even buy this for myself.

But probably not.

Click here to read the full post with comments.

Paging Dr. Suresh?

I'm a big fan of NBC's Heroes. Cool show. Fun characters, fun concepts. I love me some superheroes. That's just how I roll.

Anyway, I thought I spotted something in last week's episode, "Godsend" (still haven't watched this week's show yet, although it's on my TiVo).

There's a moment about halfway through the episode, when Hiro is in the museum and slows time so that he can steal the sword. As he slows time, we see people walking around him, and one of the people--on screen for just a few seconds--looks like just like Erick Avari (Dr. Chandra Suresh) to me. I've replayed the moment and he *still* looks like Suresh to me.

Did anyone else spot this? Am I nuts?

I had trouble getting a screen capture, so high-tech Rob paused the show and took a digital photo of the screen.

Click here to read the full post with comments.

Have you seen Nepal?

Picture this poster: A beautiful landscape. A dramatic mountain range cutting into a cloud-filled sky. Ancient ruins surrounded by vibrant green grass. The headline? "Have you seen Nepal?" Makes you want to pack a bag and head to Nepal, right?

The problem? The poster, developed by Royal Nepal Airlines, actually depicts Machu Picchu. Yes, that Machu Picchu. The one in Peru.

Oops. Yes, someone was fired over this one.

You can read more details here.

Click here to read the full post with comments.

Rigatoni Roberto

And now for something a little different. A recipe I tossed together a few months back and have repeated several times. Dina likes it, I like it, a few guests have liked it, and I hope you'll like it, too. Not exactly a healthy choice meal, granted, but I think it's pretty tasty.

Rigatoni Roberto (serves 4 to 6)

1 lb. bacon
1 bunch fresh asparagus
1 pint of cherry/grape tomatoes
1 lb. rigatoni
1 to 3 cloves garlic
1 Tbsp. olive oil
3 egg yolks
2 Tbsp. butter
½ cup grated Parmesan cheese
½ cup heavy cream
salt and pepper to taste

The trickiest thing about the meal is that you're basically doing several things at once to get it ready. I've separated the various pieces out, but they'll all be mixed together at the end, and you'll want to mix the sauce as close as possible to when the pasta is finished.

Early preparation: Halve the tomatoes. Trim the bottoms off the asparagus spears and cut them into 2-inch pieces.

Bacon: Cook the bacon until it's crisp, reserving 2 Tbsp. hot bacon grease. You'll want to crumble the bacon before the pasta is finished cooking.

Tomatoes: Heat the olive oil and garlic in a saucepan on high. Add the tomatoes and then cover the pan and reduce the temperature, simmering for at least 10 minutes, until the tomatoes soften. As some of the moisture comes out of the tomatoes, this will be fairly moist.

Pasta and asparagus: Cook the rigatoni as recommended on the box. 3 minutes before it's time to remove the pasta from the boiling water, add the asparagus to the boiling water. Drain them together.

Sauce: Melt the butter in the microwave or on the stovetop. Mix the egg yolks, the hot butter, the 2 Tbsp. of reserved hot bacon grease, the Parmesan cheese, and the heavy cream.

In the pot or a large bowl, mix the pasta, asparagus, sauce, crumbled bacon, and tomato mixture. Add salt and pepper to taste; you might also want to add some additional Parmesan cheese. Enjoy!

Click here to read the full post with comments.

Scorpions on a plane

In a story reproduced from Excite:

Man OK After Airborne Scorpion Bite

Jan 9, 4:00 PM (ET)

By DAVID GRAM

MONTPELIER, Vt. (AP) - The scorpion bit David Sullivan on the back of his right leg, just below the knee, crawled up through his crotch and down his left leg, he thinks, before getting him again in the shin. Not what he was expecting on his flight home from Chicago to Vermont.

Sullivan, a 46-year-old builder from Stowe, was aboard the United Airlines flight as the second leg of his trip home from San Francisco, where he and his wife Helena had been visiting their sons. He awoke from a nap shortly before landing and noticed something strange.

"My right leg felt like it was asleep, but that was isolated to one spot, and it felt like it was being jabbed with a sharp piece of plastic or something."

The second sting came after the plane had landed and the Sullivans were waiting for their bags at the luggage carousel. Sullivan rolled up his cuff to investigate, and the scorpion fell out.

"It felt like a shock, a tingly thing. Someone screamed, 'It's a scorpion,'" Sullivan recalled. Another passenger stepped on the two-inch arachnid. Someone suggested Sullivan seek medical help.

He scooped up the scorpion as a specimen and headed to the hospital in Burlington. Mrs. Sullivan stopped at the United counter and was told the plane they were on had flown from Houston to Chicago. The Sullivans surmised the scorpion boarded in Texas.

"The airlines tell you you can't bring water or shampoo on a plane," Mrs. Sullivan said, referring to recent security restrictions. "All the security we go through" apparently didn't apply to the scorpion, she said.

United spokeswoman Robin Urbanski said the incident "is something that we will investigate and look into. We're very sorry for what happened. Our customer safety and security is our No. 1 priority."

Scorpion bites are rarely fatal, most often only to babies and older people with other medical problems, said Dr. Stephen Leffler, director of emergency services at Burlington's Fletcher Allen Health Care hospital.

"We don't see many scorpion bites in Vermont," Leffler said. Last week's prompted him to do some research. To a healthy adult, a scorpion bite can mean numbness or shooting pain extending out from the bite, or flu-like symptoms, which Sullivan said he had the next day.

"You're much more likely to die from an ... allergic reaction to a bee sting," the doctor said.

Sullivan said he was taking the experience in stride. "I've traveled enough in tropical climates, Argentina, South America, to know about the risks from insects and animals and microorganisms. ... It's a dangerous world out there."

He said he hadn't seen the recent movie, "Snakes on a Plane," starring Samuel L. Jackson. "I'm pretty selective about what I see," Sullivan said. "Maybe I have to see it now."

Makes me want to run home and watch my Tail Sting DVD!

Click here to read the full post with comments.

The cranky post

A friend of mine chastised me for not keeping up the blog. I haven't been sure what to post--I didn't want to phone something in, but haven't had the full time, energy, and enthusiasm for something elaborate.

So anyway, I thought I'd try to at least get something out there with a few quick hits, touching on a few pet peeves. Because, you know, I don't think anyone has ever used his blog to vent about pet peeves before, so I'm breaking really fresh ground here.

1. Dear radio ad makers: I'll fully admit that loud sound effects, although annoying, can be attention-getting. However, before you plan your next ad with honking horns, screeching tires, and the sounds of one car smashing into another one, please let me draw your attention to a little-known statistic that your demographic studies might have overlooked: Apparently, many people actually listen to the radio while driving. Who knew? So a side effect of this hidden population of car-driving radio listeners is that sound effects that make these drivers think that they're in imminent danger of being smashed to bits are probably a bad idea. Sorry to spoil your fun.

2. Dear retail sales force: I understand that this is the holiday season and that you're overworked and underpaid and all that jazz. I sympathize. But please understand that when we're searching your labyrinthine stores for a particular item to no avail, and when we finally manage to track down someone to ask for help, the last thing in the world we want to hear is "If we had it, it would be..." (usually accompanied by a vague arm gesture that encompasses half the store and outer Mongolia). I want precision. I want to know whether you have it or not, where the heck it is, and, if you don't have it, where I can find it and how you can help to get one for me. The next time I hear "If we had it, it would be..." my head is going to spin around.

3. I love Santa Claus. I love the whole idea of Santa Claus. I love talking about Santa Claus with my boys. You know what I don't love? Santa Claus "outers": people who seem to go out of their way to make it difficult for me to help my kids believe in Santa Claus a little longer. Seeing a cheap, poorly outfitted Santa Claus every place I turn around hacks me off. How am I supposed to explain the contrast between the Santa whose lap they sit on in our planned trip to the mall to visit Santa and the scrawny Santa with the beard recklessly slipping off slouched at the front of Half-Price Books with no damn warning? Or the Santa waving from the photo store at the mall? Or the Santa making a special surprise appearance at the neighborhood gathering? There shouldn't be a Santa Claus at every single damn retail establishment in America. If you feel you must have a Santa Claus, follow these rules:

• Have a good one.
• Have a prominent sign letting parents know what to expect when they walk into your store or attend your event.
• Put Santa off somewhere away from the center of things or else surrounded by Christmas decorations so that the only people who actually see him are the people who want to see him.

Don't foist your bad Santas on me!

4. Oh, and while you're at it, suggesting to my wife, in front of our five-year-old, that something would make a good stocking stuffer? Probably a bad idea. Santa stuffs stockings, not Mom and Dad. Moron.

Click here to read the full post with comments.

DM of the Rings

This whole series of strips is absolutely hilarious, particularly to anyone who has played in role-playing games in general and D&D in particular. The irreverant take on The Lord of the Rings series had my laughing out loud. Very funny stuff.

Check it out.

Click here to read the full post with comments.

Alas, poor Pluto

So poor Pluto has been demoted (or, as Dina put it, "riffed").

I've heard a rumor (okay, I'm starting a rumor) about a new cottage industry of professionals who are going around to little kids' houses and elementary schools and yanking Pluto off of their toy solar systems. And another industry recycling those Plutos into balls for the Hungry Hungry Hippos game.

Anyone else think that this demotion is a Machiavellian move by the Solar System Toy Mafia to get people to buy all new eight-planet solar system sets? And then, a few years down the road, the SSTM will get the ruling turned over and promote Charon and Xena to planet status for a whole new slew of solar system sets? Poor Pluto is just caught in a temporary crossfire.

Click here to read the full post with comments.

Indy IV news scares Rob

My commentary below...

From Sci-Fi Wire:

Lucas: Indy IV Starts In 2007

George Lucas told Empire magazine that he, director Steven Spielberg and star Harrison Ford are aiming to shoot a proposed fourth Indiana Jones movie by mid-2007, with an eye to a 2008 release. But, he added, getting everyone back together may not be easy.

"Before, I was just working with Steven and Harrison," Lucas told the magazine. "Now everybody's a superstar, so it's a little bit more difficult than it was then."

As for the story? "We're basically going to do The Phantom Menace," Lucas said cryptically, referring to Star Wars: Episode I. "People's expectations are way higher than you can deliver. You could just get killed for the whole thing. ... We would do it for fun and just take the hit with the critics and the fans. ... But nobody wants to get into it unless they are really happy with it."

Lucas added: "The 'damned if you do, damned if you don't' situation has freed up an idea for a plot that was originally deemed too incendiary. I discovered a McGuffin. ... I told the guys about it, and they were a little dubious about it, but it's the best one we've ever found. ... Unfortunately, it was a little too 'connected' for the others. They were afraid of what the critics would think. They said, 'Can't we do it with a different McGuffin? Can't we do this?' and I said no. So we pottered around with that for a couple of years. And then Harrison really wanted to do it, and Steve said 'OK.' I said, 'We'll have to go back to that original McGuffin and take out the offending parts of it, and we'll still use that area of the supernatural to deal with it.'"

Okay. Is there any way that this doesn't sound like a horrible beginning to this movie?

First, we've got Lucas apparently calling a lot of the shots storywise. Lucas used to be an amazing talent, but I've seen precious little evidence that his talent remains these days, especially after the terrible Star Wars prequel trilogy, which showed that he'd lost touch with the human connection that any great story has to have.

Then we have his own lukewarm discussion of the McGuffin (MacGuffin is the preferred spelling, by the way). I understand that he's trying to talk about the movie without giving away actual details of what he's talking about, but he sounds completely unenthusiastic about it. If this movie is to be made, it needs to be a labor of love for the primary storytellers involved. They need to be engaged in it and excited about it, or it's going to be a terrible disappointment.

Finally, when he said "We're basically going to do The Phantom Menace"? My blood froze. I'd have felt better if he'd said "We're basically going to do Plan 9 from Outer Space" or "We're basically going to do Glitter" or even "We're basically going to do Gigli." What the hell is he talking about?

Click here to read the full post with comments.