Yes, I want fries with that. But not those fries. I want the fries of yesteryear.

I wish they'd have two types of fries on the menu at McDonald's.

The first could be whatever the hell they want or need to make to appease the whining masses who complain about the health values of the fries, as though fast food french fries will ever be anything but bad for you.

And the second--my fries--would go back to the old recipe, before they started using vegetable oil and started worrying about health reports over flavor. Ah, for the McDonald's fries of my youth. Today's version are just a poor imitation.

You know, some people say that the reason Americans eat so much junk is that our food tends to be so bland. You eat more, hoping with each bite to get more of that full flavor that whatever you're chewing on just hints at. Who knows? The fries of my youth might actually prove to be healthier because you'd eat fewer of them, sated earlier with all the goodness that McDonald's fries used to be.

The fact that I've fantasized about having a time machine to go back in time and eat real McDonald's fries is a little sad.

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Happy National Gorilla Suit Day!

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A quip

The other night:

Dina: "How are you, honey?"
Me: "I've been worn down, yelled at, bit, and bonked on the forehead with a yo-yo. How are you?"

Of course, if I'd been writing it as a line of dialogue and had a little more time to think about it, I might have added some specific detail:

Me: "I've been worn down by Wal-Mart, yelled at, bit, and bonked on the forehead with a Finding Nemo yo-yo. How are you?"

I'm not sure that either of these is great art, in fact I'm sure that neither is, but I've found that a little bit of specific detail can add color to writing, as long as you don't overdo it.

Anyway, I've been dismal about posting here, and thought I'd at least jot down a few random thoughts to get the wheels greased again.

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Brokeback Top Ten

I found this article about a Top Ten reader contest for Late Show with David Letterman to be pretty funny, with its list of top ten rejected titles for Brokeback Mountain. I actually think #10, "Not-That-There's-Anything-Wrong-With-That Mountain," was my favorite.

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Still Surviving

Well, I've been away for awhile. Busy at work, busy at home, just plain tired, etc. I'm going to try to do a better job of posting again.

And what better way to get back on board, talking about the survival of my blog, than to comment about Survivor? If you haven't watched the finale yet, and intend to, then read no more.

Okay. Dina and I were glad to see, for a change, that the final three candidates on the show actually deserved to be there. We had turned to each other several times in the last week and asked what Lydia was still doing on the show and threatening to quit watching if she won. She is a perfectly nice lady, I'm sure, but she didn't do much to earn a place on the show--she went with the flow, she failed miserably at most challenges, and she didn't bring a lot of fun to the camera. So we were very pleased when she was ousted last night, not making it to the final three.

Once our favorite, Gary Hogeboom, had been voted off a few weeks back (damn it!), we both centered on Rafe as our personal favorite. And he did pretty well for himself, overall, winning lots of challenges, playing a tough, but mostly fair game, and not doing anything grossly annoying or frustrating.

Last night, we rooted for him in particular when he refused to eat the chicken offered up as a Mayan sacrifice. At the same time, we razzed Stephenie for her insistence on eating the damn chicken, for the lack of class that she showed in doing so. (Respect traditions!)

But what was Rafe thinking when he let Danni off the hook on her agreement? It was a noble thing to do, I suppose, but it also showed that maybe he didn't think that he deserved to win. It's kind of like telling a loved one "you can break up with me if you really want to." What are you really saying there? Are you being noble? Or are you saying that you don't have faith in yourself and the commitment that was made between you?

Oh, well. I was glad enough to see Danni win the whole thing; she's been a trooper and a fun player to watch overall, and I really didn't want Steph to win. Especially after the chicken thing.

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Oh, Pat...

Pat Robertson has mouthed off again.

I'd like to be a fly on the wall, so to speak, when Robertson eventually makes his way to the hereafter. I'm not wishing evil on the man ("don't hate the hater"), and hope he lives to a ripe old age. I just think that he's going to be in for a world of surprises in the afterlife. Wouldn't it be wonderful to see his jaw drop as he discovers that his narrow, hateful, exclusionary view of the world just doesn't match up with whatever he finds in the hereafter?

That would be a little glimpse of heaven all in itself.

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How to be annoying at Monopoly

I got this link from another blog. A few of the items gave me a chuckle and I thought I'd pass it on. My personal route to being annoying at Monopoly is in arguing with others about what, if anything, should happen if you land in Free Parking. (I don't think you should get anything or, if you do, it should be $50. Others think that you should get all the money paid out through Chance or Community Chest, turning the Free Parking spot into a sort of lottery.)

While I'm talking about Monopoly, has anyone out there ever played the Monopoly Stock Exchange variant? I saw a card set around the time it came out in 1992 and was interested, but never tried it.

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The sign on the lawn, part II

Well, hell. I'm not proud to be a Texan tonight. At least no one egged our house or tore our sign down. But this wasn't a vote for freedom, civil rights, or respect.

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The sign on the lawn

Caution: Politics and morals ahead. I stated when I began this blog that I wouldn't be political, but I've changed my mind on that a bit. This blog isn't about politics, but it is about things that are on my mind, and this topic is one of them.

We took our first steps toward political activism this week. We picked up a "No Nonsense in November" sign and stuck it in our front yard.

For the uninitiated, constitutional amendment #2 basically is about, and I'm quoting the ballot language here, "providing that marriage in this state consists only of the union of one man and one woman and prohibiting this state or a political subdivision of this state from creating or recognizing any legal status identical or similar to marriage."

Some people oppose the amendment because it can affect common law marriages, but that's not my concern here. My concern is that the amendment discriminates against gays and lesbians. I believe that gay marriage is something that our civilization is and should be evolving toward. Two consenting adults who love each other and are committed to creating a family together should have the right to marry, with all the legal and social benefits that arise from that. Period.

Dina and I agree on this issue, and so, with a little trepidation (our neighbors could conceivably egg our house, steal the sign, etc.), we put up the sign Tuesday evening. I'm happy to say it's still there, with no egg shells on the house to speak of.

I've been avoiding reading polls about this vote (which will take place on Tuesday). I'm afraid that the amendment is likely to pass. This is Texas, after all, a state so "red" it's scarlet, and tolerance of homosexuality isn't exactly at its high point here. On the positive side, though, the Dallas Morning News, the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, and several other major papers have come out against the amendment, while the pro-amendment contingent includes the KKK. Maybe the sight of those white hoods on the "pro" side will make people think twice about what they're voting for.

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So should you trash that expired medicine right away? Maybe not...

I've always wondered with medicine, pills in particular, whether I was putting my life on the line if I took something that expired a month or two ago. I mean, pills in particular seem pretty inert. Is something really going on inside them that will render them useless or even dangerous if I take, say, an ibuprofin that expired in June today?

Turns, out, maybe not.

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Someone should definitely be fired

I'm not the world's biggest Martha Stewart fan, but I'm a fan of The Apprentice, and the fact is that her version of the show isn't bad at all. I enjoy it just about as much as I enjoy the Donald Trump version. There's a little awkwardness at the end of each episode, when you're itching for her to say "You're fired!" and instead, you get some variation of "You'll have to leave" or "This just isn't going to work out," more of a breakup than an actual firing, really. But that's not a big deal, and the letters she writes to the jettisoned contestants are a neat little gimmick, very in keeping with her persona.

So why is it that her show isn't doing very well in the ratings?

The bottom line is that it was a boneheaded idea to put it on during the same time as Donald's version of the show. I'm an Apprentice fan, but two episodes a week, with twice as many people to keep track of in a very similar group of circumstances (Hey, honey? That woman with the glasses who complains a lot and who we think probably went to Emerson College because she mentioned coming out of a Writing, Literature & Publishing Department--was she on the Martha show or the other one? I sure can't remember.) is a bit more than I'd like to keep track of. It's oversaturation.

Had it been up to me, I would have let Donald's current season run its course. Assuming that he intends to come back for another season, I would have dropped Martha in as a corporate client sometime in the run of Donald's show, letting her get some screen time there and letting the two of them interact and build each other up. Toward the last episode or two, I would have started teasing Martha's mid-season run of The Apprentice (no name change), to begin in December or January or February or whatever, in the same time slot. And then I would have run her season much the way it's been run--with her own take on things, her own theme song, her own theming, but in the Thursday time slot without the competition from the same show. It would have worked better for both shows. Then they could alternate seasons, maybe each doing one or two a year or something like that, without invading each other's space.

If I were to pull the project managers behind The Apprentice into the board room, I'd zero in on whose decision it was, ultimately, to have the shows run simultaneously, becoming competitors instead of partners. That, ultimately, would be the person who would hear the words "You're fired," that week.

And receive a nice, tasteful note afterward.

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Jack o' Lantern time

Carve yourself a cool, virtual jack o' lantern in time for Halloween!

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Satellite photo of Hurricane Wilma

A colleague sent this and it gave me a bit of a chuckle.

Aside from the humor, though, my thoughts and prayers go out to the families in the hurricane's path, and those still reeling from the other storms that we've been faced with this year.

I haven't disappeared for good. I'll try to post again soon and get back in the habit of it.

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A quick hello

I haven't disappeared for good. I should be back to blogging in a few days, as soon as my current project is done. But in the meantime, wouldn't one of these look really cool in the game room?

(This is one of a series of retro-looking TVs sold by a Wisconsin-based company called Predicta TV.)

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Don't mess with my wife

She looks like a softie. And, of course, she usually is. She's generous, sweet, smart, funny. The whole package. But don't get on Dina's bad side. She knows how to stand up for herself.

Case in point: Late last week, a contractor doing some work for Dina's company e-mailed an executive there, pointing a finger at Dina and blaming her for a delay, saying that she hadn't received some information she needed. She copied Dina on the e-mail.

Here's Dina's response, with the name removed to protect the not-so-innocent. You go, girl!

[Name Removed],

In the future, address me, as well as other members of the committee or support team, directly and individually if you have a need from one of us. DO NOT copy others at this company.

I am especially surprised that you would attempt to cast any blame at me in this particular situation. The fact is that you were 20 minutes late to our meeting on Tuesday. If you had arrived on time, you would already have the information that you are seeking.

I trust that you took care of any other script changes that were discussed after the time you arrived to our meeting -- I am not sending you information on those changes unless you have specific questions that your own notes did not address. I will check my notes that were taken prior to your late arrival and see if there is anything additional to share with you.

Dina

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